About Me

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My name is Jessi Joy. In EVE Online I am Naughty Cargo, currently a member of Shadow Cartel. I am a 22-year old Aussie chick who loves playing computer games, being cute and writing. This is part of my story, where I can talk about whatever I want. Welcome to the madhouse!

Wednesday, January 8, 2014

My Passion

Passion. It's such an ambiguous thing.

     pas-sion noun  \pa-shən\

     : a strong feeling of enthusiasm or excitement for something or about doing something
     : a strong feeling (such as anger) that causes you to act in a dangerous way
     : a strong sexual or romantic feeling for someone

There's three different reasons/meanings for passion in one go. There is one meaning in urban dictionary that makes me chuckle. 'An emotion you should fake to get a better grade in advanced english class'. Thing is, I don't think you can fake passion. Not true passion. I don't think even professional actors can. Have you ever seen Neighbours? 

I don't even know why I'm talking about this really. It's something I've been thinking about a lot recently. I'm not quite sure what I'm doing. I know I said that in my EVE post, about my direction in game, but I think it's sort of an extension of my real life.

I'm doing uni, but I'm not sure why. It's one of those things that was always expected. When I got an average score at the end of high school, my mum was disappointed. When I got my offer to go to uni for a Diploma, she was happier. When I completed my Diploma to get into the Bachelor I'm in now, she was thrilled, as was I. I've completed my first year, but the second half was rough, and I ended up failing two subjects. I just didn't have my passion for it. My subjects didn't interest me, and my tutors didn't seem to care too much. That and I am NEVER using slide film ever, EVER again. There's a reason we're in the digital age and I discovered it. I'm doing this thing for a piece of paper right now, so hopefully, with these subjects coming, I can really focus on what I want to.

On a side note, my subjects do indeed look better: Advanced Digital Imaging, Research for Writers (sounds the most boring), Fiction Writing: Story, Structure and Starting Out and Script Writing: Focus on Fiction. I do like writing, so maybe I can really focus on what I want now. And of course, if I'm doing this, my writing is only going to get better. That's the theory anyways.

I like writing sure, but I don't have a passion for it, and that's part of my problem. I thought I did, but I find I enjoy reading a ton of a lot more than writing. I think it's because I'm lazy, and I often procrastinate, leaving to half finished pieces strewn all over My Documents. If I had passion, it'd be something I'd do everyday surely? It would be something I finish, and not just start and then stop half way through when I get bored of an idea.

I would say I have passion for photography, because I really do love doing it, and I know I'm good at it. Good, not great, but good. I have a good eye for a shot, and what will look good, and I have a knack at being that person that sits in the corner and takes photos when no ones looking- those natural, un-posed ones that people both love and hate you for. I have a passion for the horses I take care of. They give back more than they know. They always listen when I need, and they always teach me new things. Patience, care, effort... etc.

I have a passion for my friends, for those ones I know from my real life, and those I know from online. I care for you all, and even though some people don't understand it, because I don't 'know' you guys in person, that's not changing anytime soon. It's a great community, and I like that. And hopefully, I'll get to meet a bunch of you later this year :)

I have a passion for things that make me feel good. I have a passion for things that make me feel happy.No matter what anyone says about some of the things I get up to.

But I need help. I have a question for you. How do you find out what your lifelong passion is? How do you know if you've made the right choice? What do you do if you feel lost in the playing field that life is? Aimless?

I have a lot to think about still, and I'm sure that things will change again and again as life happens. Anyways, it was just something I was thinking about, questions that I'd be interested to find out what people think the answers are. There's always someone out there who knows more than you.

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